Your wedding vows are one of the most important parts of the ceremony. It is where you profess your love to your future spouse and extol all of the virtues that made you fall in love with that person. It is a time to make promises to love one another forever and always. Nowadays, the traditional vows that have been used for centuries are being overlooked in favor of writing vows specific to each individual. Many feel it is more romantic and means more than just repeating a generic statement. If you are planning on writing your vows, you may want some tips and guidelines. Ultimately, you want to create vows that mean something to you and make you feel good when you say them to the person you will spend the rest of your life with.
The following tips will help you write meaningful vows that you and your future spouse will cherish in the years to come.
Start early! This is probably the biggest mistake many people make. You probably have all these wonderful things you feel about your future spouse, but when it comes down to putting it on paper and writing something beautiful, it is much more difficult than you would imagine. Give yourself several months to get it just right.
Decide if you want to write vows that will be meaningful, but leave your guests rolling in their seats with laughter. Or maybe you want to use bits and pieces of a romantic, heartfelt poem that will leave everybody crying. Decide the tone before you ever put pen to paper.
Talk with your fiancé about the vows. You can choose to practice reciting them to each other or keep them secret until the big day. You do want to keep the vows somewhat the same length. If your future husband is writing a lengthy essay, you will need to write something similar. You also want to have the same tone. If he is going with humorous, you don’t want to write something sappy.
Sit somewhere alone that gives you plenty of time to reflect on your fiancé. Jot down some of the things that first drew you to him. When did you meet and where? Was it love at first sight or did you want to slap him? Jotting down the things you love most about him will help the words flow.
When writing your vows, remember they will be said in front of an audience. Avoid using references to extremely personal moments that only the two of you would know about or anything that is embarrassing for your future spouse.
If you are stumped about what to write, use poems or even refer to the various versions of traditional vows. Tweak the words to suit you and your spouse and go from there. Not everybody is a word wizard. You just want to create something that is special and will mean something to each other on your big day.
Once you have written the vows and are happy with the words, practice saying the vows out loud. You may discover that when you read the words, your vows are done in under a minute or they drag on for 10 minutes. Read them out loud to get a good feel for the flow of the words and to make sure it all makes sense. You may be a little nervous at first and stress about what to write. That is only natural. The key is to relax and reminisce. Think about all the things your fiancé does that makes you smile. Try and write down at least five adjectives to describe your fiancé and go from there.